Key Lime (Or At Least Lime) Pie - No Bake, No Muss, No Fuss

Everyone knows this pie. Your mother made it. Your grandmother perfected it. It's lime juice and a can of sweetened condensed milk. Period. Heck, one really doesn't even need a crust. Just dig-in with a spoon to the dangerously-sweet limey goodness. But in case you've lived under a rock (or in Costa Rica or Burkina Faso), here's the recipe. You'll use:

• A can of sweetened condensed milk, Dulce de Leche, in Costa Rica. It's about a 12 ounce can. Don't confuse this with condensed milk.
• 1/2 cup of lime juice, and bottled lime juice works great if you don't have Key limes or some other variety of a lime to juice.

That's it. Really. Ah, but you want pie, and not merely a bunch of sugary goodness in a bowl that will send your blood sugar through the roof. And perhaps you're in Costa Rica without those pre-made, pre-shaped Graham cracker crusts. So here's what else you'll want:

• 12 Graham crackers, (in Costa Rica they'll be marked Fibra y Miel . . . usually made by Pozuelo) or a roll/tube of any cookie (vanilla, chocolate, it matters not . . . just picture a roll of Ritz crackers or ChipsAhoy).
• 1/2 stick of butter or margarine.
• A little box of whipping creme, Crema de leche here. Or you can skip the whipped cream topping . . . or you might try adding some whipped cream to your pie filling, or even some queso crema (if you're in Costa Rica) if you want to cut that over-the-top sweet goodness of merely the lime juice and sweetened condensed milk.

You can't possibly goof up this recipe, so let's go. We'll begin with the crust. If you got a food processor, toss in those Graham crackers and the butter and pulse it until the crumbs will form a ball in your fist. No food processor? Bang 'em to bits in a ZipLoc or in a bowl (much more difficult in a bowl, but hardly impossible). 

Regardless of how you smash together the Graham crumbs and butter, when they'll hold together in your fist, turn them out into some kind of dish. Could be a pie pan (don't try to go up the side of any pan -- you're only aiming for a bottom crust). You could even make this in a large bowl, a square/rectangle baking pan, a tart pan, a cheesecake pan . . . or little individual pies in a muffin pan. How cute would that be? So now your crust is ready. Forget those web sites that suggest baking for 15 minutes. Totally unnecessary, trust me.

Now for the filling. If you're using a mixer, your filling is going to thicken so quickly you won't believe it. If you're using a whisk, it's still going to thicken quite rapidly. If you're using a fork or spoon, be prepared to stir hard and fast for a four or five minutes. Again, trust me -- you'll know when that lime juice has cooked the sweetened condensed milk . . . there's no mistaking its thick, pudding consistency. There you have it. Pour that limey filling into your pan with the Graham cracker or cookie crust, place it in the refrigerator for about an hour. Bam, you've got pie.

Now's lets discuss reasons to  trick-out the pie. You may add many things to that lime/condensed milk mixture after you've whipped and thickened it. For instance, you could add about a 1/4 to a 1/2 cup of whipped cream, or about a 1/4 cup of whipped cream cheese (queso crema here in Costa Rica). Such additions won't really change the thickness/set-up of the pie, but it will add volume to your pie in case you want to serve more folks, or simply eat more pie.

Now, about the topping. There's no need to top an already sweet, perfect pie. But who doesn't love whipped cream. Whipped cream is really better suited to this pie than a meringue topping, so let's go with whipped cream. Pour about a half or 3/4 cup of whipping cream (crema de leche, 200 ml) into a bowl and turn on your mixer. Mix at medium speed until the liquid cream begins to thicken. At this point speed up your mixer and add sugar (or powdered sugar) by the tablespoon until your whipped cream is as sweet as you like it. When it looks like every whipped cream you've ever seen, you're done. Slap that creamy goodness on top of the pie and spread it around.

Two notes here: Don't take a cigarette break while your mixer is on high beating your cream. You'll get butter, and there's no going back. What's that dripping off the spoon? Not whipped cream. Those are globs of delicious butter swimming in a bit of remaining cream. I tried so hard to salvage my topping. I added another entire little box of crema de leche and continued to beat. True, it got thicker, so I placed it in its bowl in the refrigerator overnight. Next morning, it looked thick and tasted deliciously sweet. The problem, when I scooped up some to top the pie, it was floating on liquid. And what was that liquid? Sweet butter milk. I had made butter, and there was just no escaping that fact. Still, the pie is yummy. Heart-stopping, but yummy.

Next note: See that little dark layer on the pie pictured above? I had some left over chocolate chips that I melted in the microwave and poured/spread over the Graham cracker crust. Was this necessary? Of course not. Did it add much to the pie? Not really. We don't often associate lime and chocolate, do we? Chocolate and orange, sure . . . but not chocolate and lime. Still, the pie was a success . . . Javier tested, Javier approved, and it's largely disappeared in less than 24 hours. Oh my . . . those shorts just keep shrinking.