23 October 2015

I Understand We Understand Each Other

“There was that pregnant silence in the air, the silence between a husband and wife who have just had words, and it is unlike any other silence except perhaps the awful stillness you hear between the flash of an atomic bomb and the blast. Five, four, three, two, one.” *

12 October 2015

It Was The Ants

Man plans, God laughs. October is National Dessert Month and I am committed to a minimum gain of five pounds. Minimum. I'm going to need dessert rehab. Anyway, Costa Rican humidity be damned – I was going to make chocolate cream pie for Rusty . . . with a mile-high meringue topping. If my Kitchen Aid can turn cream into butter in less than five minutes (it’s like Butter Jesus in that regard), it can surely whip into stiff peaks a few egg whites. 

And then it started to rain. That was yesterday. It’s still raining.

10 October 2015

I Couldn’t Even Begin To Think About Knowing How To Answer That Question

Sometimes in Costa Rica things don’t go precisely as planned -- image that . . . and there’s simply no reasonable explanation. Sometimes it's merely a mildly puzzling phenomenon. For instance, who can say what prompted Rusty to prepare a delicious chicken Parmesan and then clean the kitchen, too? Now I know better than to say anything other than thank you, sweetie . . . as opposed to why tonight . . . what have you done to the cat, how many new tools have you purchased, or what have you done to destroy my laptop this time?

08 October 2015

But Most Of The Time All You Need Is A Stick Of Gum, A Pocket Knife And A Smile.

Let's talk turkey . . . or cooking . . . or chicken . . . or butter. Today we'll discuss all of these. Let's begin with butter. Remember Vacation Bible School? Yes, I attended every summer; and one of my best memories is making butter. I can't imagine how the butter-making demo was linked to a Bible tale (water to wine?), but it remains as my most clear memory from VBS. Each child was given a sealed Mason jar filled half-way with cream. We were told to shake. Perhaps this was just a clever trick to seal our little mouths as dozens of children shook vigorously their jar. My recollection is that it took an hour, but in reality, it was probably only about seven or eight minutes. You can do this same demo with your child. One moment there was thick white cream coating every inch inside the jar, and a moment later there were balls of butter floating in a slightly milky liquid. Bam. Butter. Well yesterday I performed that same dairy process with a Kitchen Aid mixer . . . quite by mistake.

07 October 2015

Leave The Gun, Take The Cannoli

About our move to Costa Rica, my darling friend Maggie recently stated that I hope it is all you expected. That simple statement made me wonder . . . I really don’t know what I expected.

I certainly expected to run far and fast from U.S. politics . . . and pharmaceutical commercials . . . and reality TV (except for American Ninja Warrior – I love that). I guess I expected that Rusty and I would wake-up every morning and say to each other, What do you want to do today? In fact, I know I expected that . . . I articulated that sentiment to many friends and family. Well what was I thinking?

05 October 2015

He Was Beheaded! Such Things Happen In The Best Families. In Fact, Usually In The Best Families.

Rusty and I have known each other since school days. During a college break a mutual friend invited us both to a party stating (I’ll never forget it), I think you’d make great partners in crime. The rest is history. A long, crazy history, but hey, it's our history. So after many decades together you’d think that we could manage something as easy as preparing a meal together without getting snippy. Think again. Actually, I never get snippy. Right. Someone recently dubbed me chirpy. Believe me, it  wasn’t intended as a compliment. 

October is National Pork Month. Seriously. It’s also National Pizza Month. Come on, folks. Pick a food, or at least a food group. It’s also National Apple, Caramel, Cookie, Pasta, Pretzel, and Seafood Month. So, by God, let's set off to make some cookies with caramel, and a pork sausage pizza . . .  and that's just for starters, right, my pet?